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What a week. Monday and Tuesday were fine. Things happened Wendesday, and it was all down hill from there. One thing about all three days. It's been rainy and gloomy and bleah, and that can REALLY affect my mood. When it's gray and blah, I'm a regular ol' Grumpy Bear. 1. I had Veteran's Day off (I know what you're thinking, what's bad about a day off?) but that's not the bad part. The bad part was YouTube yanked ANOTHER one of my videos. It was a tribute video to The Impossibles using a song called "Cartoon Heroes" by Aqua, and it was one of my favorite videos. Least I've got a back up of it, but still . . . . . 2. Thursday. There was an accident on 270 (that's an interstate for those of you who don't know) and traffic was baked up. My sister and I ended up missing the 5:10, and we barely made the 5:30 bus! 3. Today. At work today, I found out quite a few people were out, and we were short-staffed in my department, so I had to go be back up for someone, and that meant I had to go all the way to the next building. Plus, my concentration was shot, and for some reason, I wanted to kill the battery of my iPod. But that's not the worst thing that happened today. The minute my sister and I got home, our dad calls. He and my mom were in an accident on 270 today. They were hit from behind and my mom bashed her head on the steering wheel. My sister told me she was okay, but they were at the hospital, anyway, just to make sure. I absolutely HATE weeks like this. Current Mood:  aggravated
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Arrrrgghhh Sometimes, this site can be great, and other times it can be a big pain in the patuska. http://www.archive.orgIt can be great because it allows you to look up websites that might have been deleted. Or websites that are still around, but some things from them have been deleted. It can be a pain because a lot of times, it doesn't have copies of every single file, and not every single stinkin' page on the Internet is available to view. It is absolutely FRUSTRATING when it doesn't have an archived file you're looking for. I'm having that problem right now. I found on an archived Cartoon Network site a section they used to have called "Department of Cartoons." I only realized they had a page devoted to the Impossibles through the Internet Archives. Don't try looking for it now. It's gone, man. Solid gone. Anyhow, the CNDOC included (well, at least for the Impossibles site. I haven't explored others) presentation boards, early storyboards (from these boards, I learned Fluid Man's name was originally going to be Rain Beau . . . . yuck! I am SO glad they didn't go with that!), and model sheets. The model sheets are what's driving me out of my skull. I found two of Fluid Man (in both his rock 'n roll persona and his superhero persona) and two of Multi Man (in both RnR and SH). But I was only able to access one of Coil Man (his rock and roll one). The Internet Archive doesn't have a copy of the other model sheet I'm looking for. And here's the kicker. They used to have it, and I KNOW I downloaded it somewhere, but now I CAN'T FIND THE DISC I PUT IT ON! AAAGGGHHHH! Frustrating, I gotta tell ya . . . . . Current Mood: frustrated
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Searching for commercials between 1983 and 1985 has gotten ridiculous lately. In YouTube, I usually type "1983 Commercials," "1984 Commercials," and "1985 Commercials" in the search box. Then, once the results come up, I go to "Sort By" and choose the "Newest" option, to see what's been added recently. And ever since Michael Jackson died, I've gotten page after page after page after page after page of Michael Jackson news footage. OK. I don't mean any disrespect on him, or his family. Michael Jackson was part of my childhood (I've always loved "Beat It," and my fifth grade class sang "Heal the World" at graduation), and I agree, his death was shocking, but don't you think some people are carrying this a LEEEEETLE too far? I mean, the world did not end when Elvis and John Lennon died. The world is NOT going to end because Michael Jackson died. Yes it's sad. Yes the world lost a pop culture icon. But really! Not even Princess Di or Ronald Regan got the coverage Michael Jackson got! Because Michael Jackson did Pepsi commercials in my current search years, I'm guessing that's why I'm getting so much MJ news footage. But seriously, I think ENOUGH IS ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!! Current Mood: frustrated
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The final installment. As always, everything is FICTIONALIZED.
3/1988 - The Colonel fires a couple of landscapers after he sees them digging in the Sunshine Factory's garden. The Colonel gave strict orders that the garden remained untouched, but the landscapers argue that people were complaining the garden was a mess. The Colonel states the garden is where his son is buried, and he doesn't want anyone disturbing the space. The landscapers are reinstated after the Colonel's wife, Prudence, talks to them, and a compromise is reached.
5/1988 - An independent film company, Marlesen, begins filming "Zombie Attack at the Amusement Park." The film is directed by Robert Rafelsen, and stars Martin Randolph, Kelly Knight, and Seth Vernon. The bulk of the movie is being filmed at the Sunshine Factory. Many patrons (who don't realize a movie is being filmed) panic when they see Vernon walking around the park in full zombie costume and make up. Rafelsen and his partner, Jake Marlon, keep the panicking patrons in the final cut, for added realism.
6/1988 - A rumor starts about Beauregarde Nesmith haunting the park, and Marlesen's movie is based on the stories. Rafelsen and Marlon neither confirm, nor deny, the rumor.
8/1988 - The Colonel builds scale models of his rides for Rafelsen and Marlon to use for disaster footage. He agrees to mount cameras on rides for close ups, but he won't blow up his rides. That's what the scale models are for.
9/1988 - Seth Vernon is arrested when a park patron calls the police, reporting a "mad man" is murdering a girl (Kelly Knight) with an axe in front of her children. The patron was not aware that Vernon and Knight were actors and a movie was being filmed at the park. It takes a call to Robert Rafelsen and the Colonel to clear up the misunderstanding.
10/17/1988 - Twelve-year-old Jason Mitchell and his ten-year-old brother, Ted, are reported missing by their parents. They were last seen entering the Sunshine Factory at about ten in the morning. It is revealed by a classmate of Jason's that the boys were going to skip school and spend the day at the park. Various park patrons confirm seeing them around the park, but nobody saw them leave.
10/24/1988 - The Colonel beefs up security and posts signs around the park, stating "Children Under the Age of 16 Must be Accompanied by a Parent/Guardian At All Times." There are various reports of a "suspicious" looking man hanging around Little Bunny Foo-Foo, Camp Fuzzy Wuzzy, and Poppyseed Place, which is where most kids hang out. The areas were investigated, but no clues were found.
12/1988 - Attendance at the park begins to drop. Police find various drug paraphernalia in the park while searching for Jason and Ted Mitchell.
January-June 1989 - Crowds reach a record low at the park. People are staying away in droves, claiming the park isn't safe for children. The Colonel goes under investigation after the police go through the records stating the number of deaths at the park. At the end of June, people stop coming all together.
7/19/1989 - For the Sunshine Factory's 30th anniversary, the park closes it's doors permanently. The Colonel can no longer afford to keep it running, due to dwindling attendance, speculation of the Colonel having something to do with the disappearance of Jason and Ted Mitchell (only because they were last seen at the park), and competition from Disneyland, Disney World, Knotts Berry Farm, Six Flags, King's Island, and King's Dominion. The Colonel turns into a recluse, relying on the stock market for money.
8/29/1989 - Colonel Culpepper Nesmith dies in his sleep at the age of 75. The Colonel had written the will two days prior to his death:
"I, Colonel Culpepper Nesmith, being of sound body and mind (no comments from the peanut gallery, please), leave my house, investments, stocks, bonds, and money to my wife Prudence, and the family cat Mrs. Mew-Mew Von Tabbytoes. I leave my theme park, The Sunshine Factory to Little Bobby."
The park remained unclaimed for years, as the identity of "Little Bobby" remained a mystery, since it wasn't specified. Prudence Nesmith (age 48 at the time of her husband's death) wasn't sure who "Little Bobby" was herself, as the Colonel knew several "Bobby's" through the years.
PRESENT - The identity of "Little Bobby" is finally uncovered. Lawyers and Prudence Nesmith go through family records, and the Colonel's personal records, and discover the Colonel was referring to his great-nephew, Robert Michael Nesmith, of the Monkees. The Colonel had always referred to him as "Little Bobby," even though they only met once, when Michael was a baby.
And there you have it. Yet, I still don't know what I'm going to do with this story idea yet.
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Hang onto your hats, folks! This is a wild one!
Everything you read below is FICTIONAL
1986/1987 (exact date unknown) - Cherry Hill Tribune headline reads "Colonel Nesmith Sues Across America."
Colonel Nesmith sues the Hands Across America organization, after "not being allowed to participate" in the event. "I was told they were going to film footage here," he said. "And then they decided to use that rat on steroids over at the Rat Factory instead."
2/1987 - Colonel Nesmith paints everything (and we mean everything) in the park blue in honor of a Smurf show being performed at the park. The shrubbery is replaced by plastic blue shrubs, and even the asphalt has been painted blue. Niece Kate Nesmith had this to say in later years: "I knew he was a little crazy, but this blue thing was too much!"
4/1987 - A woman identified as Sue Mallone sues the park every single day for one month straight. All suits are thrown out of court:
---4/1: Ms. Mallone stated Colonel Nesmith targeted her in particular to be bombarded with water balloons.
---4/2: Claimed to have found a deep fried rat in her chicken
---4/3: Claimed to have broke her left leg while exiting a ride (and she entered the courtroom with a cast on her right leg)
---4/4: Claimed a hologram projection was harrassing her
---4/5: Claimed a live shark attacked her boat on Little Bunny Foo-Foo
---4/6: Claimed Colonel Nesmith was "anti-American" because he hated Mickey Mouse
---4/7: Claimed to have been literally thrown out of the park for carrying a purse with a small Mickey Mouse patch sewn on it
---4/8: Claimed the "Little Bunny Foo-Foo" song could be heard 666 times during the ride's duration
---4/9: Sued the Colonel for allowing blacks, Jews, Asians, and other minorities into the park where "decent people" gather
---4/10: Claimed the Upchucker caused her to throw up fifty times
---4/11: Sued because the restrooms were "too far" from the rides
---4/12: Claimed to have fallen into the pit for Journey to the Center of the Earth
---4/13: Claimed the new Haunted House ride (called "Somebody's Watching Me") caused her to become paranoid that someone really was watching her (the ride featured eyes that followed riders as they rode through the house)
---4/14: Claimed a vendor threw her ice cream cone to the ground "for no good reason."
---4/15: Claimed to have severely injured her posterior after she fell from a tram (it was later revealed that she was mooning a passing tour bus)
---4/16: Claimed Little Bunny Foo-Foo assaulted her in her sleep
---4/17: Claimed the lights from the Vhatchamacallit Thingamajig 3000 caused her to become radioactive and glow in the dark
---4/18: Claimed the park sent "giant Popples" after her daily
---4/19: Sued because the park sponsored an Easter Egg Hunt and had a special Easter Parade featuring the Easter Bunny and Mrs. Easter Bunny. Ms. Mallone claimed the Colonel was trying to force religious beliefs on the park patrons (Easter was on April 19th in 1987, BTW)
---4/20: Sued because the Easter decorations remained up after Easter was over
---4/21: Claimed the park gave special attention to a child by allowing him and his family to go on the rides without having to wait in line. The child, Berkley Morrison, was a quadrapalegic, and confined to a wheelchair. Ms. Mallone claimed it was unfair that they allowed him on the rides without having to wait while she stood in those long lines for hours on end.
---4/22: Sued for discrimination when security guards refused to let her enter an area of the park (she was trying to get into the men's room because all the stalls in the ladies room were full, and she didn't want to walk to the next restroom facility)
---4/23: Claimed Colonel Nesmith is a hypocrite for preaching about the environment, and stating there are no recycling units at the park
---4/24: Claimed two security guards sexually assaulted her behind the Poppyseed Place Pavilion
---4/25: Claimed the Colonel was a racist because there were not enough minority groups in the park
---4/26: Sued because a clerk wouldn't sell her a small, stuffed Little Bunny Foo-Foo toy. Ms. Mallone didn't want to pay the price for it, because it was too high ($2.95) and demanded a discount. She claimed the clerk was rude to her
---4/27: Sued one of the park's restaurants after she bit her tongue eating their French fries
---4/28: Claimed the Colonel's pet aardvark, Haarvey, bit her and gave her rabies
---4/29: Claimed teh Colonel forced her into Poof Mooshy the previous year in an attempt to murder her
---4/30: Claimed her right to assembly was violated when security asked her to leave the park when she started marching through it, leading a group of protestors
5/1/1987: Court orders Ms. Mallone to a mental institution after all those lawsuits, when she entered the courtroom wearing wristwatches on both ankles (as well as her wrists), and a rubber chicken tied to her head, claiming she fell off a ride, split her head open, and the park turned her into a maniac. She made headlines two days later when she claimed she saw Abraham Lincoln take off his face to reveal himself as a Venutian. "Why she can't go harrass the Rat Factory is beyond me," the Colonel said. "I think they must've sent her over."
6/1987: The Sunshine Factory is closed indefinitely after rats invade the park. The Colonel blames Disneyland for sending them over, and starts a rumor about Mickey Mouse planning on murdering Donald Duck, and the It's a Small World ride containing subliminal messages telling people to stay away from the Sunshine Factory in droves.
7/5/1987: the park is closed again shortly after its reopening after the rat infestation. Only this time, a tornado blew through the park. No one was hurt.
8/20/1987: A man sues the park when he discovers it's closed on his son's sixth birthday. The family made a special trip all the way from Pennsylvania so they could go to the park for their son's birthday. The park was still making repairs from the tornado damage.
8/21/1987: The man sues once more when his three kids are killed on one of the roller coasters. The man's seventeen-year-old son snuck into the closed park with his thirteen-year-old sister and the six-year-old birthday boy without the parent's knowledge. They sneak aboard the testing coaster, which had suffered severe damage from the tornado, and breaks down when a piece of the track collapses. The car is rolled down the steep incline backwards and smashes into the car behind it, causing both cars to explode. The three kids are found once the fire is controlled. Staff had no clue the kids were on the ride.
Next Time: 1988 - Present
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*~*~*WARNING!*~*~*
There are some events that happened in these years of the park history that are *not* family friendly (please note that it is ALL FICTIONAL!!!!) Read at Your Own Risk. (And I gotta tell you, the 80's are long and involved!)
4/1983 - Security and local police arrest 34-year-old Jake Bradford after he climbed on stage during a concert performed by Kate Nesmith, the Colonel's niece by marriage. Bradford had been stalking Ms. Nesmith all day and finally rushed the stage and propsed to her, while drunkedly waving a gun in front of her. The Colonel was reported to have said, "How he got that thing past securitl, I'll never know. I don't understand how we get all the kooks and the Rat Factory gets all the sane people."
("The Rat Factory" is what the Colonel refers to Disneyland as)
6/1983 - Tyler Schwinn sues for breach of contract after Colonel Nesmith fires him for assault and destruction of property. Schwinn, one of the many actors who walked around the park as Little Bunny Foo-Foo, had allegedly taken a Mickey Mouse doll from a little girl, stroked, patted, and kissed it's head, cuddled with it for a moment, and then bopped it on the head repeatedly with a toy mallet the Bunny Foo-Foo actors carried while in costume. Schwinn then ripped the doll's head off, and stomped on it, like he was stomping out a cigarette. Then he began flinging stuffing out of it. He could be heard shouting "Wheeeee!" from inside the giant Bunny head. Barbara Daniels, who was on duty as the Good Fairy that day, warned Schwinn (in character) to stop it or she'd turn him into a goon. Schwinn dropped the decapitated doll, jumped on Daniels, tackled her to the ground and tried to reach up her dress, in front of a dozen or so childen (all between the ages of four and eight). Schwinn stated, "I was only doing what the Colonel would do!" The Colonel said, "I may hate that overgrown rat, and I may turn people away at the gate if they have anything that resembles anyone or anything from the Rat Factory coming into the park, but I would not destroy a child's doll, or assault a female co-worker." Rumor had it that the Colonel bought plush Disney characters in bulk, and run them over with the Gingerbread Express train, or strap them to fireworks and set them off after the park closed. However, no one was able to prove it.
11/1983 - The Colonel puts his biggest (and arguably stupidest) promotion idea in motion. He buys one million Cabbage Patch Kids dolls, and offers a doll to the first one million families to visit the park Saturday (the actual date of this event is unknown). Since it's the height of Cabbage Patch Mania, people lined up at the gates the night before. The plan was simple. Guests would come into the park in an orderly fashion, and a doll was handed to one of the parents. The Colonel ignored all inquiries about "What happens if a family has more than one kid?" The Colonel was firm with the rules: Only One Doll Per Family. What the Colonel didn't realize was how hot these dolls were. When the gates opened, people stampeded in, grabbing at the dolls left and right, fighting tooth and nail for them. During the day, people left dolls unattended, and had them stolen right out of their hands. Several cars in the parking lot had been broken into, and one father was hospitalized after being stabbed by a teenager, who stole a doll from his daughter, and he chased after him. The father was unable to recover the doll, but he did recover from his injury. The Colonel was reported to have said, "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea . . . . ."
1/1984 - Colonel Nesmith reports his teenage son, Beaureguarde "Beau" Nesmith, after an argument over Beau hanging out with "certain low-lifes." After the argument, Beau (16) went to his father's park with his girlfriend, Jennifer Bailey, to let off steam. Park employees informed the Colonel that Beau was sneaking people in, and hanging out in the dark rides, smoking marijuana and snorting cocaine. The Colonel dismissed it saying, "Boys will be boys."
1/15/1984 - Beau Nesmith, Jennifer Bailey, and several of their friends party at the Sunshine Factory all night. Drugs and alcohol are present, and several uninvited guests arrive. The "party" breaks up at around four in the morning. Beau is seen leaving through a back exit. It is the last time he is seen alive.
2/1984 - The Colonel closes the park temporarily while police search for Beau. Security officer Harold "Smitty" Smith informed the Colonel about the drug party, and that he saw Beau leave through an employee exit around four in the morning. Another witness saw Beau talking to a group of young men, who might have been gang members, and they started arguing. The witness also stated one of these young men suddenly grabbed Beau and dragged him into the woods near the park.
3/14/1984 - Police discover the body of a teenage boy in a ditch in the woods near the Sunshine Factory. He is positively identified as Beauregarde Nesmith.
3/15/1984 - The Colonel holds a memorial gathering at the park for his only child. Patrons are allowed in, but the rides are closed. The Colonel has Beau buried in the park's garden, with a stone marking the grave. It is discovered that Beau's murder was drug related. Beau owed a lot of money to a drug dealer, but he refused to pay up. He threatened to go back to the park and turn the dealer and his gang (which included the older brother of Beau's girlfriend, Jennifer Bailey) over to security. The young men ganged up on Beau, took him into the nearby woods, stabbed him to death, and dumped his body in a ditch.
11/1984 - Inspired by an episode of "WKRP in Cincinnati," the Colonel arranges for live turkeys to be dropped from a helicopter as a Thanksgiving promotion. It is later revealed that the Colonel did not see how that particular episode ended. "Odd, very odd," he said. "They've got feathers, they've got wings . . . . . why didn't someone TELL me turkeys can't fly?!" The stunt cost $1.3 Million in damages, and five people were sent to the hospital. Future Camp Monkee Mallard member Reggie Bushroot (then 13) said, "That was the weirdest thing I have ever seen in my life."
2/1985 - Colonel Nesmith opens a ride called "What a Wonderful World," and invites his late son's girlfriend, Jennifer Bailey, along with her older brother Rick, and several of their friends to be the firsts to ride it. It starts out slow and easy, but gradually escalates into a wild and intense ride, including images of drug use and abuse, and a gruesome re-enactment of Beau's murder. Despite protests from the group, The Colonel refuses to let them off the ride until the park closes, and he does not allow anyone else on the ride at all. Jennifer Bailey's parents threaten to sue the Colonel, and he threatens to turn Rick Bailey into the police on murder charges (though Rick is later convicted in Beau's murder, as a conspirator, five years later). Everytime the Bailey siblings or any of their friends visited the park, the Colonel forced them on the ride.
4/1985 - The Colonel builds the Cabbage Patch, featuring a cabbage garden with Cabbage Patch Kids doll faces "growing" in them (they aren't real dolls, they're painted fiberglass). For the next year and a half, the Colonel is constantly replacing cabbages that have been uprooted and stolen. "I have to wonder if whoever's been taking them thinks they can grow their own doll," he said.
6/1985 - The Colonel opens a boat ride called "The Ecology." It starts out as a slow cruise through a lush green valley, then drops down an incline, and riders are shown what pollution has done to the planet. The final minutes of the ride are set to Marvin Gaye's "Mercy Mercy Me."
3/1986 - The Colonel replaces Strawberry Land with Poppyseed Place.
5/1986 - The Colonel removes "What a Wonderful World," and replaces it with "The Upchucker," a roller coaster where riders spend the bulk of it upside down, featuring a dozen loops, and a 25 mile per hour drop from a height of 60 feet.
6/1986 - The Colonel opens an attraction called "Poof Mooshy," a fun house type attraction where patrons walking through it have to find their way to the exits by squeezing through giant puffy marshmallows, which are tightly packed in the house. The Colonel claimed the name came from a variation of the "Chubby Bunny" game. His son, Beau, used to refer to it as "Poof Mooshy."
8/1986 - The Colonel shuts down Poof Mooshy after a three-year-old suffocates, a claustrophobic freaks out and tramples a five-year-old while rushing out, and future Camp Monkee Mallard personality Reggie Bushroot (then 15) has a near fatal asthma attack inside the attraction. All three families sue.
9/1986 - The family of a seventeen-year-old boy sues the park after he is killed while riding The Upchucker. The court sides with Colonel Nesmith after it is discovered that the boy was drunk, unbuckled the safety belt after the ride got started, and fell out of the car when it turned upside down.
10/31/1986 - About a hundred park guests are hospitalized after they become violently sick at the Colonel's Halloween party. Five end up dead from poisoning. Apparently, someone entered the park and mixed a poison with the cherry Kool-Aid the Colonel was serving. "Probably someone from the Rat Factory," the Colonel said. "They can't take the competition, you know." Among the visitors hospitalized was future Impossible Multi Mills (then four years old) and his older sister, Windy (then six). "I'm just thankful they made it," their father Ken Mills (who had a near death experience himself at the park fourteen years earlier), said. "My guess is that some whacko was inspired by the Jonestown incident back in seventy-eight. To this day, I can't look at a powdered drink mix, much less give it to my kids!"
11/1986 - The Colonel "produces" a stage show of "The First Thanksgiving." He changes some things around when he finds the show to be boring. He adds an alien invasion, and music from the Vhatchamacallit Thingamajig 3000. The show is berrated by parents who feel their children won't learn anything about Thanksgiving because of it.
NEXT TIME: 1987
1987 gets it's own section because THAT year was a long one!
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